#This result bothers me
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"The Siren
The pull of your energy is palpable. It’s your strongest asset, and everyone feels it the moment you’re near. But at your core is a fear of being known, truly known. You attract adoration towards you, but once they attempt to know who you really are, your violent urges begin to arise. You’ve grown to love the pain that you cause, sometimes you even crave it. A part of you wants to feel guilt, but you smother it, because you know the truth. They are nothing compared to you. Their suffering for your sake will be the most meaningful thing they’ll ever do."
which paranormal being are you?
(sorry but we cant all get vampire)
#that's scary#is that why Aro is a character that intrigues me a lot?#This result bothers me#I'll use it for one of my OC#I know exactly which one#And they're a mermaid so it adds up#I want to use it as inspiration to write rn but I'm working on too many other WIP right now.
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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CHANGBIN ♡ dominATE TOKYO (241117)
Coloring!!
#stray kids#seo changbin#bystay#staysource#changbinseource#createskz#staydaily#skzco#usersa#staytay#dreamytag#userbeepls#usertsu#usersemily#bitsforkitts#melontrack#*mine#👁👄👁#i made this with the base resource that i rb just a few minutes ago. it's the base 2 if y'all wanna try!#it ended up pretty good#after the base i added some more layers bc the background screens bothered me#but his skin tone looks really well#it's so hard to get this result with normal layers
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neurotypical people will be like "yeah loud noises bother me too" and meanwhile i once had to sit in a closet clutching a pillow sob-rocking for 2.5 hours because a fire alarm went off for a few seconds
#this is an extreme example but it says something i think#actuallyautistic#yes many of the sensory issues that bother me are also mildly annoying to other people#the issue is that's what a mild annoyance to you is a cause of pain and extreme distress to me#it's a medical issue that can disrupt my entire day and ability to function--at which point i get told i'm 'overreacting'#and listen that is not how sensory processing disorder works#it's not ME overreacting it's my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems malfunctioning on a biological level#and buddy you are WELCOME to try arguing with them but i personally have spent years not getting results from that#they are Stubborn and they do not give a Damn what you have to say
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isat color palette challenge WOO!! these are always fun :D
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#cw eyestrain#<- just in case!!#OKAY i noticed the palette was uneven and i forgot to add hexcodes#like right after posting and it was bothering me so i just took it down and reposted after adjusting LOL#anyway tho!! here were the original tags below LMAO#this was fun :]#might do more at some point actually?#i had a Thought when doing this one#but that Thought is on pause since i have. so many other things i want to draw rn ASFSADAD#tangentially related i thought to myself i will draw siffrin with the first palette i get#and this was the result!!! it was fun!!#kinda reminds me of those fun outer space colors if that makes sense? so it works i think!!#thats it! tag talk over! uh. no stream woo those happen on thursdays usually LOL
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I really appreciate those who gave me some advice this morning on here about types of therapy, the conversation made me realize that the original events that created my PTSD likely were not the ones I thought they were. I've contacted some therapists who specialize in EMDR and loss trauma and hoping that will help some. Thank you! :)
#i deleted the post bci always get scared bothering others about like. Orphan stuff and how i'm unable to be close with others as a result#but the responses earlier really made me realize how likely the trauma started so much earlier than I thought + just bc i had “accepted” it#doesnt mean i was okay#i genuinely appreciate so much that people on here are so kind and helpful.#anyway ty yall and hope you have a good night!!!!
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Every day I become aware of strange activities. Here, a jumper being sold on vinted. Someone has sewn upon it a patch. The patch depicts an AI-generated single-legged frog in an incomprehensible chair. Meanwhile I myself simply have a day job
#horrible things with legs#I don’t mind a hustle and I’m not particularly FUSSED about generative AI#it’s not a hugely interesting argument to me#it just bothers me to charge money for it#when you haven’t even curated it.#like that’s just garbage then#you get that if you don’t even curate the results then it’s just garbage
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I was re-reading his wiki again and thought to myself "hey, he sounds like a ghoul/zombie, so why not incorporate it into his design. " thus, I tried to make his skin look more ashy and textured.
#maskerat art#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp art#lobotomy corp#abnormality#clouded monk#honored monk#i still kinda dislike the style. feels out of place again. perhaps its not messy enough and its bothering me.#less messiness unfortunately results in lack of texture in my eyes:(#“practice session it is” -> proceeds to draw for several hours without a break /hj#pjm#project moon#digital art#artists on tumblr#lob corp
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So me and Nightmare were talking about how wildly different Cassie’s model is from her actual art.. being how somewhere in production whoever was making Cassie’s model didn’t get her skin color right.
I don’t believe this was intentional on Steelwool’s part, at most I wanna think there was some miscommunication between the art and modeling team on Cassie’s design, but still..
So I decided to do an edit of Cassie’s model to give the girl her melanin back as well as features that her art shows her having (curly hair and a rounder nose and more noticeable freckles)
Steelwool, I say this with all my heart, if you’re going to have a POC protagonist please actually depict that protagonist as POC
#my art#edit#model edit#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf security breach#security breach#security breach ruin#fnaf ruin#fnaf cassie#I love ruin with all my heart but this is something that genuinely bothered me…#it’s resulted in plenty of white Cassie art from fans who see her model and simply aren’t aware that she’s poc
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She had been always so full of light.
Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been.
And now nothing remained.
#eek I think I like this one it was fun!#this was actually inspired by acowar and you’re losing me by miss swift 🤭#but I’ve been itching to draw elain like this for a while and I quite like the result#more detailed caption on instagram since I can’t be bothered to type it twice sorry#art#artist#mack’s art#drawing#procreate#fan art#elain archeron fanart#pro elain#elain archeron#acowar#elain fanart#elain acotar
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"Long, long ago, all the worlds were still one. One day, this would be called the age of fairy tales. It all began here in Daybreak Town."
Happy 10th anniversary since the launch of Kingdom Hearts χ 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Close ups under the cut!
Oh btw I drew all of these characters from memory with some intentional alterations... except the Keyblade... bcuz I forgot which Starlight upgrade some of the Dandelions used and only realized my mistake once I already coloured it... so have a weird mix of several I guess?
Additionally, I drew my own keykids in the bottom left corner! Wanted to add more stuff but this artwork was already busy as is.
#yes I used that one FFVI illustration done by Yoshitaka Amano as reference#anyways happy 10th to the part of the KH series that made me ill :D#however I didn't bother to straight uo copy Amano's style (this time)#so the result is a cross between my own artistic tendencies and his#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts x#kingdom hearts union x#khx#khux#ephemer#ephemera#skuld#player character#keykid#chirithy#kh brain#blaine#foreteller ava#elrena#lauriam#strelitzia#ventus#master of masters#katvart#the hours I spent working on this are between me and god#ignore the fact that I am 2 days late...
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do you ever think about how all you used to draw when you were 10 was ponies and that you should still know how to do that, then get an idea and proceed to draw something like these in nearly one sitting and it turns out better than any drawing you've done in the entire past month
sooo anyway does anyone have cutie mark or pony name ideas for them?? lol
#(the b girl lineups are older than a month because i procrastinated a lot on doing minor fixes. nothing i drew in the month of june 2024#is really worth showing it's all shitty doodles lmao)#bnha#class 1b#mlp#?#yui kodai#setsuna tokage#itsuka kendo#ibara shiozaki#(i love how she came out in particular! creature :3)#reiko yanagi#tikto's art#you may be wondering why pony of all people isn't here.#i did draw her! but i kind of ran out of steam so i ended up not really liking the result lol same for kinoko#anyway shoutout to elementary school me i was SO obsessed with mlp. brony stuff was one of the first things i used the internet for#and you know what. i wouldn't say it ruined me it was a pleasant experience#i just read what was basically a polish version of equestria daily and constantly checked the deviantart profile of one (1) specific artist#that i liked a lot#i did watch some weird speedpaints (yknow the horror ones) but i honestly dont remember being very bothered by them i just liked the art#i was just chilling there lurking and never actively participating due to being 10 and afraid of online strangers (good for me tbh)#i remember having an identity crisis though because can i really call myself a brony if i'm a little girl? the target audience of the show?#lmao anyway i would also draw ponies constantly and write oc fanfics (and the ocs were actually my irl friends ponified)#and i even had my own little g5 concept. good times good times#tag story time over god bless enjoy your day
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hi :3 there’s now a part two of this!
He cooked a full on meal over the magma, your honor.
Inspired by this post from @wowitsmetaylor I seriously can’t stop drawing PMD stuff what is this😭
#i hope I'm not bothering you with my silly drawings @wowitsmetaylor !!!#also I've seen this idea of Darkrai's scarf spike thingy growing like sharp when he's hostile or angered and damn I'm absolutely in love#with this concept. Maybe you can tell :)#Don't wanna bother by tagging them but saw the idea first at @scribz-ag24 go check them out their ideas and art are amazing !!!!#this doodle resulted out of me looking up Pokemon snacks from the doodle before and I found Pokemon cafe meals#instantly in love#pmd darkrai#pmd#pmd eos#pmd2#pokemon mystery dungeon#pikachu#chimchar#hero (pmd)#HOW DO YOU TAG THIS#partner (pmd)#tagas friend spoiler#my art#my stuff#pmd shitpost#pmd hero#pmd partner#pokemon
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day 86
do any of yall ever have like. an Evil infodump? where instead of endlessly word vomiting about a thing you love and are very informed about, there is a thing you are equally well-informed about but hate with a passion that you cannot hold back in conversation?
i do :')
(I'll put it under the cut for the curious because I think it's important and i cannot be stopped but also i'm not kidding the facts are infuriating)
SO. "Homeopathic" is often interpreted as sort of a vague synonym for "natural," or "organic," but it's actually related to a system of alternative medicine that means something Very Specific.
There are two main principles behind the practice of Homeopathy.
"Like cures like." This is the idea that, for example, if you have a headache, taking a veeeery small amount of a substance that is known to CAUSE headaches will cure that symptom. I understand where people fall into this flawed idea, as it sounds very similar to the principles behind, say, vaccines, or antivenom. But it isn't universally applicable in this way. An herb isn't a virus. But even if it was, a Homeopathic preparation of that herb would not have any effect on the body because of the second principle.
"Water has memory." This is the idea that water is able to "remember" any substance that it has had contact with. This is also not true. Molecules don't really have any way to store information like that, and even if they did, well... What would that information do inside our bodies? Would our cells have any way to interpret and process that information? What would they do with it? It's all rather nebulous and it seems like more of a spiritual claim than a scientific one. Which is fine, but is not medicine.
So, with these principles in mind, the process of creating a "Homeopathic Preparation of [insert substance here]" goes a little something like this: You take a dropper and put one drop of your active substance in a container with a hundred drops of water. You then take a drop of that mixture, and put it in another container with another hundred drops of water. You continue this dilution process until there is, quite literally, a near-zero percent chance that your mixture contains even a single molecule of your original active substance (depending on the level of dilution believed to be best for the substance in question. Typically, a higher dilution is considered more potent.) So it is, by this point, literally just a vial of water.
This vial of water is what is then sold as a "Homeopathic preparation of [substance]." OR that water is used to compound a batch of sugar pills, or gel capsules, or tablets, whatever format is being offered. Regardless, the composition of the tincture is literally just water and ~*vibes*~.
And they sell these vials of expensive vibe water! At!!!
THE PHARMACY!!! WITH LIKE THE IBUPROFEN AND ALL THE OTHER REAL MEDICINES!!! AND NO BIG WARNING LABELS THAT SAY, "THIS CONTAINS NO ACTIVE INGREDIENTS AND IS BASED ON VIBES ALONE," OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!
In fact! In the US they are able to advertise that they have been FDA approved! (FDA approval of dietary supplements is not the same as FDA approval of actual medications. In the context of supplements, approval just means they've proved it won't just kill you straight up, and thus you're allowed to sell it.) And, well. It certainly won't kill you! In fact they often also advertise things like, "It's natural!" and "No harmful side effects!" and "No risk of overdose!" and it's all technically true! BECAUSE IT'S JUST WATER! LIKE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW IT'S LITERALLY JUST WATER!!!
Anyway. Please keep this in mind the next time you are offered a homeopathic remedy, or see one advertised in the store, or hear your antivaxxer auntie bragging about the fact that her kids all got a "homeopathic" alternative to their MMR shots.
IT'S! JUST! VIBE WATER!!!!
#day 86#year 5#it me#truly very few things get me more heated than this specific concept. i dont know what it is... just.... WOOF.#anyway i didnt bother checking beforehand if there's a homeopathy side of tumblr but i must assume there is. so.#if this showed up in your search results and you would like to argue with me about this. im sorry but you are not my intended audience.#i didnt mean to show up to your party and simply shit on everything.#but also if you spread medical misinformation on my post or get rowdy in my inbox im gonna block ya.
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ocs as patron saints
i was tagged by @katsigian and @ecofear to take this quiz for some of my ocs, thank you both so much!!! loved doing this sm, two things i love obsessing over: saints and ocs <3
patron saint of relics. patron saint of remembering. patron saint of holding something close. patron saint of holding on for too long. for a saint, a relic is often a part of the body, kept for some physical memento of their holiness. they are all in your hands, now: does it feel like remembrance? does it feel sanctified? are the dust and blood as precious as they're supposed to be?
patron saint of bones. patron saint of frameworks. of structures. of solidity. patron saint of things that break. patron saint of things that are left behind. the bones survive long after the body, the building: what is there left for them, when the rest has gone? what do bones do, with nothing to hold around them? who holds the bones?
patron saint of heartbreak. not of comfort. not of condolences. there is a heart and there is a fissure, a fracture, something that starts to splinter and break open. you're the patron saint of the way a heart is rent open. the way it tears itself apart. patron saint of the rift. patron saint of the gash. when they say to "open your heart" to somebody, you are the patron saint of bleeding out.
tagging (under the cut!):
@marictheirins @mojaves @ruvviks @devilbrakers @dragonaqe
@pinkfey @aezyrraeshh @shadowglens @risingsh0t @ncytiri
@baelavelaryon @kibellah @pawnguild @roguette @hexmaturgy
@tethrras @lucaanis @auricfog @thedeadthree
and anyone else who wants to do it!!
#tag games#loveeeed doing this reminded me of the tumblr golden age of quizzes and picrews for ocs we need to go back to that#also i need to get a taglist so bad so i know im not bothering ppl with tags lmao#oc: vesper#oc: fenix#oc: violante#now i will lose my mind about the results if u don't mind ->#vio getting heartbreak is beautifully perfect for her also bc i love the mental image of it#vesper getting relics is kinda funny innit lmao. johnny and all huh. which i can also see bc girl never learned how to let go one single#thing in her life (both regrets and mistakes and things others did to her). NOW THE REAL CAKE HERE IS FENIX.....unexpected..#'patron saint of things that get left behind'..what if i went insane tbh#cant put into words what im feeling (<said about my own ocs) but what has me shaking is the solidity>things that break>things left behind#progression here like. yea no matter what you will stand tall you will stay strong and firm even when everything else inside you and around#will break and you will turn hollow but you will Stay. you will be immovable and you will be alone and you'll only know loss#and grief but you're still here right? isn't that enough? maybe not. like what if i went insane ok bye#unrelated but i loved this and did it for me self and got patron saint of obession (devotion. dedication. passion. holding it tight until#it bleeds. pushing it too far. etc etc) which is yeah lmao when will i get this freaky sainthood fr
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today would’ve been Dilano van ‘t Hoff’s birthday. he would’ve turned 19 today. but he lost his life at Spa, at a track that is not just dangerous when it’s wet, it’s deadly. a track that claimed lives before. this weekend we’ll be racing at Spa and we’re most definitely looking at a wet weekend. we’ll most likely have two memorials before the race, when we should have none. and the fia still does nothing to ensure drivers’ safety. making it a sprint weekend as well with the new tyre regulations too, just proves that, for them, spectacle is above anything else. racing is dangerous, but it shouldn’t cost the lives of people following their dreams. going back to that track, where people lost friends at, passing those corners must be haunting and requires enormous mental strength. i just hope that all drivers will have a safe race and nothing bad will happen to any of them. this should not be a thing. as fans of this sport, we should look forward to race weekends with excitement and not with anxiety, genuinely fearing for people’s lives. i’ve seen many posts saying that they’re so nervous because of this. and i totally agree. that is unacceptable, especially in a sport that is regarded as “the pinnacle of motorsport”. safety should be above all else. we need to do better.
#formula 1#belgian gp 2023#some people may call me overdramatic but this is something that genuinely bothers me and makes me nervous#and i feel like we should talk about it more#if a track is so dangerous that it resulted in multiple deaths it should not be on the calendar no arguments in my opinion#we shouldn’t put spectacle before actual people’s lives
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